Life doesn’t always scream “romance”. Go to work, fix dinner, have family time, shower, fix that squeaky hinge, write a blog post, wash some jeans… not super-sexy. Yes, making dinner together can be sensual, but unless you’re making an effort it’s probably more like, “Hey, Caleb has come down for the second time to ask ‘what’s gonna be for dinner’, so… we have some chicken… now what?”
Sometimes, you just have to take the bull by the… horns. Light a candle, give a massage, take a shower together, or hit “play” on that romance playlist you forgot you made. Plants can help you with the other stuff. Calm your mind so you can focus on communication with your partner. Boost your energy so you don’t fall asleep when you want to be fully awake. Stimulate your creative side and let yourself experience the moment. Get spicy with lube made from actual spices rather than chemical warming or cooling.
How do you use these oils? Replace any blend in a bath bomb or shower melt recipe with a blend that includes one or more of these oils. Use them in a carrier oil like fractionated coconut to make homemade massage oils. Add them to a homemade candle. Create your own personal blend to diffuse in an ultrasonic diffuser, a reed diffuser, an atomizing diffuser, or simply placed on a cotton ball near your bed. Or wherever – I won’t dictate where you do whatever deeds you’re planning to do. (Always use caution when diluting essential oils for topical use. The appropriate concentrations are different for every oil and use, so check with the seller or manufacturer for safety warnings before proceeding.)
These are in no particular order. We don’t all need the same things, and there’s no one answer for every person. Use what might help you make some romance in your situation!
Rose is said to boost the energetic frequency in your body, helping to soothe and balance frazzled nerves. It also stimulates libido and is traditionally used in perfumes and aphrodisiac blends. Rose is best used in blends, as too-high concentrations of the components can lead to headache. If you wanted a headache, you’d just fake one and roll over, right? Rose does contain some compounds that help stimulate those sex hormones, making it an all-around sex tonic. Note, you can buy pre-made blends, or rose that is pre-diluted for easier use and less financial pain.
Rose blends well with: Sandalwood, Ylang Ylang, most citrus, Frankincense, Black Pepper, and Vanilla (which almost made this list itself).
A musky, warm scent with sharp overtones, clary sage can help bring some sensuality by helping you de-stress and appreciate the present moment. It helps balance the endocrine system so your body can produce what it needs. Use it during the day if you’re planning a romantic evening, to help yourself enter that time relaxed and ready to accept pleasure or intimacy. Use it during the moment for peace and acceptance.
Clary Sage blends well with: Lavender, Cedarwood, Sandalwood, Pine, Ylang Ylang, Rose, and citrus.
Ylang Ylang helps promote a healthy circulatory system and alleviate mental fatigue. It is used to help stimulate a sense of euphoria, similar to what your brain does when you feel especially in love in a moment. It’s heady floral scent is thought to increase attraction. Ylang Ylang may also help ease tense muscles when used topically, making it a great addition to a romantic massage.
Ylang Ylang blends well with: Rose, Jasmine, Neroli, Cedarwood, Sandalwood, Vitex Berry, Bergamot, and Patchouli
Yes, that frankincense. The one used for centuries to induce a dreamy or euphoric state, to help spiritual “cleansing”, and for a host of other reasons. Frankincense comes in several forms, but in this case we’re talking about sacred frankincense, or boswellia sacra. If you happen to have boswellia carterii or another frankincense, go ahead an give them a go – they contain some of the same compounds and definitely won’t take the magic out of the wand
Frankincense essential oil has a woodsy, spicy scent with hints of citrus. If you’re familiar with this tree resin from incense or charcoal burners at church, you may be surprised that there is no smoky odor to the oil. Don’t worry, it can still help get things smokin’. Frankincense can help you find that place where you’re comfortable expressing your inner self, opening up to new experiences, and being fully present in that moment. And unlike using drugs or alcohol to “loosen up”, frankincense will only take you where you’re truly comfortable, and only if you choose to let it!
Frankincense blends well with: Myrrh (really), Rose, Bergamot, Sandalwood, Pine, Black Cumin, Patchouli, and Lavender
Need an energy boost? Blend Peppermint with citrus and inhale. You’ll fight mental fatigue, sharpen your senses, and find some focus. This oil is also used to boost confidence, making it great for making the first move or trying something new. Peppermint can also be used to make a “tingling” or “cooling” massage for use on the thighs or intimate places; just be extra-careful with following directions and dilution, or you’ll wind up with a whole new definition of the phrase, “burning loins”. That’s even less sexy than you’re thinking it might be!
Peppermint blends well with: Citrus, Vanilla, Rosemary, Cinnamon, Pine, Eucalyptus
Use basil to increase clarity and fight tension. Basil is said to awaken the senses and arouse your… well, your arousal. It is also used for hormone support, especially in women. It’s strong, spicy scent is great for aromatherapy, and its tendency to calm muscles means it’s also great for sensual massage. It has a light licorice scent that lends itself to more neutral or “masculine” blends. Add it to the headier florals to tone down the “feminine” and bring out the “spice”. This is a “hot” oil, so dilute properly for topical use!
Basil blends well with: Orange, Black Pepper, Vanilla, Patchouli, Cardamom, Anise, Lavender
Hello, hot stuff! Shake a little of this into your romance! OK, don’t actually shake cinnamon anywhere near your romance, if you know what I’m sayin’. But do consider including it in your plan. It can increase blood flow and body temperature, creating a pleasant warming sensation. This is another one that works well both diffused and in a massage oil or intimate “warming” rub. I don’t have to remind you about dilution, right? You’re already thinking “Talk about a ‘Goblet of Fire'” and “I don’t want those ‘Great Balls of Fire'”. Carrier oil is your friend, and it’s better to start with too little and have to experiment as you add more!
Cinnamon blends well with: Ginger and Nutmeg (both of which could be on this list), Orange, Rose, Ylang Ylang, Black Pepper, Clove, Vanilla
Sandalwood is frequently used in scents both masculine and feminine, from candles and incense right on up to very pricey perfume. This popularity comes from the fact that it mixes with your own body chemistry to help produce the pheremones you need for sexual attraction. Sandalwood literally brings out the best in you, chemically. Diffused or added to your own topical blend, sandalwood can help set the scene for romance. It also encourages strong lymphatic flow and supports circulation, things you need if you’re working with wood. Or hoping to.
Sandalwood blends well with: Rosewood, Bergamot, Jasmine, Ylang Ylang, Orange, Myrrh, Frankincense, and Rose.
Heady and floral, Jasmine has been valued for its aphrodesiac qualities for centuries. It acts to soothe both mind and body, and can encourage the expression of pent-up emotion or desire. It supports a healthy libido in both men and women, and can help sweep away thoughts of inferiority. These qualities make it great for quelling performance anxiety and allowing you full enjoyment of your intimate moments and romance.
Jasmine blends well with: Sandalwood, Bergamot, Neroli, Lavender, Lemon
This oil, also known as “orange flower”, is just that – the flower from a tree that will later produce oranges. It is both floral and citrus in scent, and offers a light, sweet addition to your blend. Neroli helps to open your creative side, and calm the nervous mind. Research has shown neroli may reduce blood pressure in women, and help to increase sexual desire as it gently helps to balance and regulate hormones.
Neroli blends well with: Chamomile, Blue Tansy, Ylang Ylang, citrus, Cedarwood, Sandalwood, Geranium, and Rose
So, how about a quick diffuser blend? With a graphic for easy Pinning and Sharing, of course!
6 drops Bergamot
4 drops Frankincense
3 drops Cedarwood
3 drops Clary Sage
2 drops Jasmine
Blend in a dropper bottle and use 3-4 drops per 100ml of water. This blend also works well in bath bombs and candles. Or add 6 -10 drops to a roller bottler, and top with FCO.